30 - Chapter 8: Allies

It was a two-day journey to Dragon’s Butt on foot, possibly three, if the scorching Sun kept at it. The burning sand seared the feet, but the thirty trudged on without rest till nightfall. It was a moonless night; the soldiers ate in silent and slept. Before dawn the thirty were on their feet, and they pushed on, across the sandy plains which separate Dragon’s Butt from Tarniania.

“M’lord! To your west, a small army approaches.” Li pointed out to Jun.

“Halt the troops.” Replied Jun as he stood facing the approaching army.

Clad in white robes and armed with farm rakes, the army was made up of roughly a hundred men of flabby arms and balding scalps.

“The graveyard’s to the South, if you’re on your way to stick a foot in.” Jun, with a half smirk, told the leader, who was practically bald and had a long white beard.

The leader looked up at Jun who stood two heads taller, and stroked his beard, “Hmm…have pity on an old man…how do you expect me to speak to you with my head raised so high? Ooooh…my poor spine…”

Jun sigh and got down on one knee, “Alright, old man, what do you want?”

The leader drove the foot of his rake into the ground and leaned on it, “Ooooh…age is catching up on me, and I tire easily….”

Jun could not believe what was happening to him, he sighed again and patted his outstretched thigh, “Here, you can sit on my thigh…”

The leader grinned with delight, and hopped onto Jun’s thigh, “Well, we’re here to help with the driving off of the Frankian forces!!” The leader swung his fists in the air as he said it, no signs of weariness or age at all, and Jun wondered why he wasn’t already licking the old man's blood off his sword.

And as Jun gazed at the animated leader demonstrating the mantis skill which he would unleash on Frankie when he lays his hands on him, he could not keep the image of him stabbing at the old man’s repeatedly at his chest out of his mind.

It was only when the leader stopped his antics when Jun snapped out of his daze. Eager to get over this delay and move on, Jun had to persuade them to return to where they came from.

“Well….”

“My name is Jia, Huo Yuan Jia.”

“Ok Huo Yuan Chia…if…”

“It’s …Huo Yuan Jia.”

Jun shrugged, “Whatever, well, if you wanna tag along, you gotta show me what you’ve got, how bout a small bout between your strongest warrior and my weakest?”

Huo Yuan Jia nodded, “ All my warriors are equally strong, you can choose anyone you wish to fight against your soldier.”

Jun smiled, and walked over to Phin, “Eh, this is your chance, I’ll pick the scrawniest old man, you beat the hell out of him, and I’ll feed Angelina something else, deal?”

Phin agreed with excitement, amazed at the ease he could be relinquished of his punishment, he grabbed his spear, took a deep breath to stick his chest out and strutted to the middle of the two groups. Jun came up behind him and looked at Huo’s soldiers, they were huddled together in a tight bunch; apart from the few standing in front, he could hardly see those standing behind, except their heads. Finally, he pointed to the one he with the thinnest neck and the goofiest smile, “You! Come out!”

The man smiled and made his way to the front, when the front men parted to make way for him, Jun almost swallowed his own fist when he saw biceps the size of his paunch , bulging chest muscles harder than onyx and abs he lost count of. “The name is Hulk, Incredible Hulk, wanna play?” Hulk teased as he rubbed his fist against his palm.

Phin turned around and gave Jun a desperate plea, “Please, M’lord, my mother sick at home, and I am the sole breadwinner…”

Jun laughed, “And what of the poor gate guard? Hmm, considering the fact he'll get his pay docked for the rest of the year, it does make sense, you will be the sole breadwinner. Worry not; I’ll get you out of this fix.”

Light came back to Phin’s face and he turned back to face Huo’s army.

“Hulk!” Jun shouted at Hulk, “I called you to the front because you were blocking the one behind you! You! The short guy, yes, you! Come out!”

The man whose head hovered slightly below the rest stood up and strode to the front and stood right in front of Phin with his crotch right in front of Phin’s face. Phin started to wonder if he had misplaced his trust in Jun's judgment while Jun tried to swallow both his fists. “You! Why are you sitting down in the middle of your band, manners! That is all, you may return.”

As the tall man returned to his band, Phin turned back and gave Jun an extremely friendly wink which sent shivers down his spine.

“Well, I guess none of you are good enough to challenge even my weakest warrior, it’s ok, I will show you mercy, leave now, it’s dangerous where we’re heading to.”

“Well, we brought pictures of our daughters…what a pity…” Huo sighed as he signaled his army to turn back.

“Wait! Wait! I just realized, maybe we need help after all! C’mon, c’mon, let’s go!” Jun tugged at Huo’s robe.

Soon, the combined army were on their way again, oblivious to the mysterious pair of eyes gazing over them from a nearby knoll. Friend or foe, only time will tell. Dragon Butt awaited the brave men as the Sun set, never to rise again…...…at least, for the rest of the night.