30 - Chapter 9: Dragon's Butt

The troops gazed in amazement as Dragon’s Butt came into view, Phin jumped when he saw it, for he thought it was the behind of a real dragon, for before him stood a huge scaly wall with a curved top and a small hole at the center of its bottom just wide enough for a small wagon to pass through.

“The asshole…that is where out enemy shall pour out from, Huo, have your men set up the defenses needed near the asshole. There is something I’d like to give to our enemy before the battle. A little meeting gift…”

Huo passed his orders down and within moments barricades and tents were propped up while Jun led his men through the asshole. On the other side of the wall, Jun and his men finally realized the terror they were about to face, to the east, Frankian troops were scattered all over the land as far as the naked eye could see. And from the Indigo Sea to the west even more troops were arriving.

“M’lord! There might be thousands or even tens of thousands camped on the shores, and look at the Indigo Sea, it is covered with Frankian ships! I believe the bulk of his troops aren’t even here yet! When they amass, they might be millions, what are we to do?”

Jun had a stern look on his face, “Come, brave Tarnianians, rally about me!” Jun pointed at the sea, “Look! The Gods favour us.”

The men cheered at the sight, a storm gathered above the arriving ships and the waves crushed many of the ship, the leading ship suffered the greatest wrath, it was thrown towards a huge rock a few miles ahead of Jun and his army. Splinters flew in all direction but the men held their shields and were not troubled. The crash was over and shields lowered, Jun and his men laughed merrily, for a great part of Frankie’s great army laid waste in the Indigo Sea.

“Survivors!” Li diverted everyone’s sights to a flotsam, there were two survivors, one was lying on the flotsam, and the other was clinging on to the edge of the plank.

“Fools!” Li muttered, “The plank will not hold both their weight!”

The men couldn’t possibly have heard him amidst the chaos and storm, but it seemed as if they did, for the man who was clinging on the plate gave the one leaning on it a kiss on the cheek, “Jack! No! I can’t lose you!” the one on the plank screamed as the other released his grip and sank deep into the Sea. Whether Jack drowned to his death, or was rescued by the little mermaid, you will have to google for yourself, but one thing Jun could tell; the two men were in love.

At this realization, Jun cast his gaze across the rest of the sinking ships, men were locked in their lips saying their last goodbyes, butts were groped and crotches caressed. The Frankian troops are homosexual. Jun turned to Robi with a worried look, “Pass the word for the troops to have their groin guards on at all times. And…” Jun took a step back away from Robi, “Why are you smiling?”

Robi covered his mouth with his hands and shook his head, “Nothing, M’lord, I’ll pass the word now.”

Jun sighed and told himself it will all be fine, “Gentlemen, let us go back through the asshole, rest well tonight, tomorrow, the battle begins!”

It was a restless night for Jun, as he dreamt of answers which he did not know the questions of. He dreamt of Frankie wrapping his arms around Jun’s body from behind. He dreamt of Oswald playing five stones with Shi. He dreamt of Joo cursing Jun’s family in his sleep. And lastly, he dreamt of a soldier, clad in Tarnianian robe, body wickedly deformed, somehow, he had a bad feeling about the final dream.