Confessions of undersexed teenage forum-posters part II
Hi, and today's candidate is....none other than...
Lin Jun Hong!
K....here goes...
Year 2016
Lin Mama: "Hong ah!! Where you going?"
Junhong: "Orh, I going to play dota with Tuiphin, byebye!"
Lin Mama's eyes widened and swung the butcher knife with all her might, splitting the trotters on the chopping board into pieces, sending out a deadly resonance.
Any wastrel son in a right state of mind would scurry off to the lift without a single consideration, and Junhong did just that.
At the age of 30, he was still jobless, penniless and single.
Well...he had a job....but the pay he got didn't justify it as a job, a measly $2.50 an hour for selling remote controls at Toa Payoh Central.
An hour later, Junhong reached Tampines Interchange, which had already been fully air-conditioned as well, in the year 2016.
And as usual, Tuiphin sent Junhong an sms saying he'll be late, and Oswald's still surfing porno at home. So he decided to browse around.
It was supposed to be a casual browse.....but it just happened that Junhong was an observant person and saw what he refused to believe.
A rival remote control shop.
Being the loyal employee that he was (He's been working there for 10 years). He decided to check it out, so he approached the salesgirl.
"Umm..hi..."
The salesgirl, whose back was facing him initially turned around and gave him a friendly smile.
"Yes? Can I hel..JunHong?"
He could've struck ToTo, but no, this was better than ToTo.
"Yu...yu...yu...Xinnn....."
"How've you been?" She asked.
"Well....I.....fine.." He choked on his words.
"Mummy!!!" A squeak came from behind her.
"Oh! I almost forgot! Darling come~ call uncle JunHong"
A small little toddler scrambled forward to Yuxin and leaned against her legs.
"ffnkle gjunhng" He muffled with the pacifier in his mouth.
Junhong could not believe his eyes.
"Is he your...."
Yuxin nodded.
"Looks like me wor..."
"He's YiYang's"
'Holy crap, still that fucker...' Junhong thought to himself.
"Frankly speaking, it's because of him that I left you that day."
Since nothing could revert the current situation, he decided not to hold it anymore.
"Why did you leave me behind and ran off with him?"
"Cos you short mah."
"I grow taller le ..." Junhong replied as though he has been wrongly accused.
"Don't bluff lah, they say short people cannot grow tall even if they go all the way to Beijing."
"So you still selling fake remote controls at that lousy shop ah?" ASked YuXin
"Don't lidat say lah." Replied a blushing Junhong.
"You'll regret it." That was his best shot.
"Won't leh." She gave a quick and cold response, with a smile.
"Chao....." He walked away, trying to suppress all the anguish that had been welling up inside him all these years. She was the reason he's remained single all along.
*camera zooms back at Yuxin's stall*
"Hey yuxin!! Was that Junhong?" Suhui walked up to her, munching on the chocolate waffle she just bought from Q bread.
"Yup!"
"Oh my god!! What did you say to him? Why he look so sad?"
Yuxin shrugged, scooped up the toddler with both her hands and passed him to Suhui.
"Your son hor...really should stop calling everyone mummy, if not next time sure kena kidnapped."
"Choy choy choy..touchwood" Suhui replied with a laugh.
Yuxin smiled, and watched longingly as Junhong faded into the crowd.
The flame that died 17 years ago, had just been reignited.
30minutes later, Tuiphin reached tampines interchange, saw no Junhong, exclaimed a huge "WAH LAO! That fucker! He go mosque issit!"
And went home.
Lin Jun Hong!
K....here goes...
Year 2016
Lin Mama: "Hong ah!! Where you going?"
Junhong: "Orh, I going to play dota with Tuiphin, byebye!"
Lin Mama's eyes widened and swung the butcher knife with all her might, splitting the trotters on the chopping board into pieces, sending out a deadly resonance.
Any wastrel son in a right state of mind would scurry off to the lift without a single consideration, and Junhong did just that.
At the age of 30, he was still jobless, penniless and single.
Well...he had a job....but the pay he got didn't justify it as a job, a measly $2.50 an hour for selling remote controls at Toa Payoh Central.
An hour later, Junhong reached Tampines Interchange, which had already been fully air-conditioned as well, in the year 2016.
And as usual, Tuiphin sent Junhong an sms saying he'll be late, and Oswald's still surfing porno at home. So he decided to browse around.
It was supposed to be a casual browse.....but it just happened that Junhong was an observant person and saw what he refused to believe.
A rival remote control shop.
Being the loyal employee that he was (He's been working there for 10 years). He decided to check it out, so he approached the salesgirl.
"Umm..hi..."
The salesgirl, whose back was facing him initially turned around and gave him a friendly smile.
"Yes? Can I hel..JunHong?"
He could've struck ToTo, but no, this was better than ToTo.
"Yu...yu...yu...Xinnn....."
"How've you been?" She asked.
"Well....I.....fine.." He choked on his words.
"Mummy!!!" A squeak came from behind her.
"Oh! I almost forgot! Darling come~ call uncle JunHong"
A small little toddler scrambled forward to Yuxin and leaned against her legs.
"ffnkle gjunhng" He muffled with the pacifier in his mouth.
Junhong could not believe his eyes.
"Is he your...."
Yuxin nodded.
"Looks like me wor..."
"He's YiYang's"
'Holy crap, still that fucker...' Junhong thought to himself.
"Frankly speaking, it's because of him that I left you that day."
Since nothing could revert the current situation, he decided not to hold it anymore.
"Why did you leave me behind and ran off with him?"
"Cos you short mah."
"I grow taller le ..." Junhong replied as though he has been wrongly accused.
"Don't bluff lah, they say short people cannot grow tall even if they go all the way to Beijing."
"So you still selling fake remote controls at that lousy shop ah?" ASked YuXin
"Don't lidat say lah." Replied a blushing Junhong.
"You'll regret it." That was his best shot.
"Won't leh." She gave a quick and cold response, with a smile.
"Chao....." He walked away, trying to suppress all the anguish that had been welling up inside him all these years. She was the reason he's remained single all along.
*camera zooms back at Yuxin's stall*
"Hey yuxin!! Was that Junhong?" Suhui walked up to her, munching on the chocolate waffle she just bought from Q bread.
"Yup!"
"Oh my god!! What did you say to him? Why he look so sad?"
Yuxin shrugged, scooped up the toddler with both her hands and passed him to Suhui.
"Your son hor...really should stop calling everyone mummy, if not next time sure kena kidnapped."
"Choy choy choy..touchwood" Suhui replied with a laugh.
Yuxin smiled, and watched longingly as Junhong faded into the crowd.
The flame that died 17 years ago, had just been reignited.
30minutes later, Tuiphin reached tampines interchange, saw no Junhong, exclaimed a huge "WAH LAO! That fucker! He go mosque issit!"
And went home.
posted by Joo Sheng | 11:02 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home